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Angry with a child - is it just about him?

How to behave when a child is angry? Maybe she is sitting or lying on the sidewalk or she doesn't want to go out of the shop, she didn't get a toy or a dainty she wanted to resist, etc. How to do it?

Angry child - Vztahy jinak

A child needs a viewer to “scene”

Sometimes we can't handle the situation and use something we didn't like so much when we were young or we thought we would never do that. Maybe when my mother instructed us and bothered us that it was a shame, that it was not done, that it was not right and wrong. And then we also resort to something similar and try to raise the child by proclaiming general principles. Why? Maybe because some things are so clear to us that we don't even think about them anymore. But then we cannot evaluate whether they are functional, that is, if they lead where we want to go.
The child needs a viewer to “scene” as long as the viewer is there to play, so the easiest way is to go to the next counter and then watch what follows. The child naturally encounters in his development that something is not allowed. He doesn't like it, and he doesn't want to accept it, so he tries it by all possible means, sometimes after the war on the ground.
When I ask parents what they think is most important in raising children, I usually hear their children happy and happy. If satisfaction becomes the highest value, everything is also guided by it. Everything adapts to being a happy child, so it happens that rules come up as the child wishes, and then it is the child who wants to decide what to buy or not to buy, where to buy will or will not. The child is getting used to it more and more, and then when the parent “defies obedience” somewhere, the child goes out wild, because “after all, everything turns out to me. And if everything, everything. And if the parent does not understand it, then I have to rake a big virvila so that the parent realizes who it will go. ”
Does it seem inverted? Yes, as if the whole thing was turned upside down. Parents are so overwhelmingly trying to understand their child and to understand that the parent-child relationship has disappeared from the ordinary and simple, that children must obey their parents. They can make decisions about themselves, but not yet.


Define the limits of your baby just as a cat does to kittens

Have you ever watched a cat with kittens what it will do when a kitten exceeds its limits? He simply defines them. Probably because he does not evaluate what the kitten will think about it, but because he sees that the kitten does not see something and that it needs to be done.
Parents seem not to be allowed to clearly set the rules themselves, perhaps because their children are no longer happy, and so the child begins to make decisions. But the child does not have it, can not handle it, it does not have experience, so it can not even, and so he begins to be in this position uncomfortable. He is furious, lacks a feeling of security, has nothing to lean on, feels threatened and "calls between the lines" to rescue: "so my mother set those borders, you can not see that I can do without them, that I am lost without them ? After all, you know well that it is hard to know in the great world and that I cannot do it without you ”.


Why should children really like everything?

It is natural that sometimes the child does not like something and that is angry. As we set boundaries, he has to cope with them, he has to look for how he will adapt to our request. For example, if I tell a five-year-old that she is going to sleep and she is angry that she does not want to go to sleep, it is not desirable to stop him in his emotions, but to say what is happening now: you will go to sleep anyway ”. And when the child asks why, don't think of anything, but tell him how it really is. "Because I'm your mother, and this is my decision." There is no point in explaining why she has to go to sleep. Children cannot understand this precisely because they are children, and their brain development is not yet far enough to connect how their cells must regenerate and what sleep is all about.
I wonder why children should really like everything? Where did this demand come from? After all, life is not about it, and we adults still have to look for a way to adapt to this or that. So why don't we want to let our children teach it? Why do we even prevent children from learning?



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Published 30.10.2019

Published 29.10.2019
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